Find Rest My Soul, In Christ Alone.

Thursday, August 15, 2013, 9:33 PM

Discouraged

I studied.

I tried.

I asked.

But,

I just cannot understand.

plainly

slow

dumb.

I don't like to study here, but I didn't have a choice.

I hate this course. but I had to study this.

(I aced in my N levels)

But since it's my last two years in this entry level course,

I stayed.

I motivate myself ALOT.

Wild thoughts like "You should be studying business, office or taking up dance at the arts school." keep running in my mind.

I can say I am firm enough to say no to my second thoughts.

Again, these thoughts ran through my mind during phase test today.

First thing first, I cannot do the basic question.

Even if I could, I wouldn't be able to finish up the rest because I know nothing.

Like I said,

I asked but I just cannot understand.

I am one of the dumbest in class, how ironic, I was the top in secondary school.

Things will change yeah I know.

Today is really a mental training day for me.

Left the examination room, went out and vent, hit the railings and cubicles, cried inside the cubicle of the toilet.

Down with sinus and migraine.

I just couldn't think well.

Cabbing home was all I wanted.

That's all...

still down with headache.

And there's another phase test tomorrow.

The fact is we just learned all these during the week before and this week.

it's challenging to jump onto phase test for people like me.

bye.