Well things have changed.
I've long ago stepped down from the presidentship in my cca.
A few regrets to name out.
- Not being able to participate in NYAA, the amount of time I dedicated in KDW is like I guess I could get a gold award.
- Neglecting my lesson time to handle cca issues, resulting in poor attendance and GPA.
- Not able to do up CCA tshirts for them.
- Not being able to witness the new intake audition.
- Not there to watch their wonderful performances during graduation.
- Not having to perform with my EXCOs

My lifestyle's changed then.
It was hard to adapt.
Waking up thinking what should I do later, first thing that came up to me was kdw.
But I am so restricted, I was only an alumni of ITE then, what could I do besides visiting them? I could do nothing, time goes by and I seldom drop by already, I don't even think I deserve to be in the name list because my attendance is bad.

No one knows the answer, even googling it.
What rights do I have? No one can answer it, even myself.
I asked God, He knows.
I will get the answer once I die.

Being a founder in a non-profit organization, so what?
I only wished for the basic respect.
No recognition is okay, I love ITE and I hate ITE at the same time as they only look at the academic and not my passion in setting up KPOP in this College West.
Wait, it's not even prominent.
I did not even know there was an election happening that week.
I did not get to elect any Presidents, Vice-Presidents or EXCOs.
I was only asked "Are you ok? There is an election tomorrow and I have elected the committee."
What could I do but to answer yes?
All I could do is to trust my CCA to the future generations.

No point clinging to something that do not deserve my effort anymore.
I have been through the shits, being insulted when the CCA was unofficial.
Now the CCA is doing well without me.
I am only entitled to the shits and nothing lasts.

I told God.
I will earn big money and really invest, be part of a shareholder and director.
So, I will be RESPECTED.
In future, no matter what kind of organization I will set up and be part of, I will be RESPECTED. I will not be forgotten.

Dear CCA mates, don't ever feel guilty.
But sorry, I hate the management on top.
They are monsters to me.

Enough, no more kdw.

Back to reality, kdw is just a dream by someone with childlike faith.
I feared nothing so I started up something that no students in ITE would ever.
But, I was penniless and I only could do a DIY banner to attract people to join.
COOL SHIT RIGHT?

I will take up part time degree by the age of 30 and go back to be kdw advisor.
Laugh? Laugh at me.
Since I have been mocked at when they heard that I wanted to set up a KPOP CCA, Its a stupid thing to do and for me to be teased at. My passion will never die.
That is all.


Let's talk about my current life.

I have progressed to Higher Nitec.
Yes, I am back as a student.
I am well prepared.
I jot down everything that the lecturer teaches although I do fall asleep at times, I am also no longer a latecomer and I dress properly.

Besides that,
I took up a part time job for extra income.

And,
I dance outside

And,
I will be going LWS to take up Vocals and Dance.

I got so much things to manage and accomplish.
I am so engaged, I am hardly at home.
But, with all these things, I can clean my hands off kdw.
This prevents me from appearing around block 3 level 3.
You know?
No one can understand.
So, let me be.

I was about to be part of Trinity.
But, I am an ITE Student.
Because, they are Campus district.
Campus comprises of NAFA, SIM, MDIS and so on....
Why do I choose Campus?
Cos they are around my age and studying.
There is an ITE group, why I don't want to go there?
Simply because, I am a leader everywhere, I don't want to be the older one again in the ITE district. I have enough of being the older one.
I need someone, I need a family, I need guidance too.
And I have been there a month, I give up.
I am not accepted there.
Simply fuck the so called nice people in church.

I will study hard this year in ITE and see my year-end results.
If I don't score well.
I will straight away apply for NAFA.
Since I have all along wanted to go NAFA.

We will see how then.

Nevertheless,
Thanks those who are/were there for me.

- Sister
Hearing my stupid rants, keeping me entertained at night even though you wanted to sleep badly.

- Jingmei
Just simply sharing everything with me. Your house is like mine, your cat is like mine, your food is like mine, your words are like mine. Bringing me to good places and so on.

- Roseline
Bringing me in to trinity and spammed my whatsapp/twitter

- Meiqi
just listening to me, eating with me, talking to me, scolding me cheap, I love all those.

- Angrong
Coming under my block and chat with me and sister, giving tips on dealing with life. Coming over to CW and help with kdw.

- Geraldine
Driving us to makan, slack, chill out, and most importantly, helping kdw to improve.

- Yuxuan
keeping in touch and talk almost anything and everything under the sun

- Fion
precious friendship indeed, I love that steamboat session.

- Mr Wann
Sending encouragement and advises to me like a composition

- Aiman
You still love me, I know.

- Mr Cheong
Most respected lecturer, like my papa. I would scold this and that, you will smile at me still, you and your fatherly concern.

- Annabel & Hui Hui
Basically just giving me advices whether I should or I shouldn't do this or that. Listening to me and all.

- Liyi
The eye-witness of everything, like my mirror friend, the one who have been through everything ever since shits happen :D