Find Rest My Soul, In Christ Alone.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012, 5:31 PM

I don't know what to do

Actually I feel sad.

I don't know what should I do.

I don't know how should I react.

I used to be obedient towards my mom, I am always the one apologizing when in wrong.

Now, after knowing what she did that made me angry big time, I cannot help but rebel her.

I always start the argument with her and isolate her after that, I don't do it on purpose, it just comes out of emotions.

She's like a stranger to me now.

I talk more to my friends than her.

I don't know what is mom like now.

I met an American woman few days ago, she said she's proud of me playing the guitar, at the moment I wished that was my mom who said that to me.

I don't know what is grace now, I don't know what is love now, I only know what is bitterness in the family, there isn't more warm anymore.

The last outing I had with my family was 9 years back.

How more can I wish but a simple family gathering?

Dad is away, sister is busying, mom is not at her right state.

When I approached my mentors, all they said are Pray for your family, pray for yourself etc.

Then can I ask, do you really know how to comfort me besides asking me to pray? Do you know I'm sick of hearing the same solution from you? I guess they haven't been through this so they don't know any practical solutions.

A friend inspired me alot.

I won't name him.

I just got to know his background, he's at the same level as me (as in facing the same situation), yet he's so strong like a wood. I can learn from him perhaps.

God.

Guide me.