Find Rest My Soul, In Christ Alone.

Wednesday, February 29, 2012, 5:31 PM

I don't know what to do

Actually I feel sad.

I don't know what should I do.

I don't know how should I react.

I used to be obedient towards my mom, I am always the one apologizing when in wrong.

Now, after knowing what she did that made me angry big time, I cannot help but rebel her.

I always start the argument with her and isolate her after that, I don't do it on purpose, it just comes out of emotions.

She's like a stranger to me now.

I talk more to my friends than her.

I don't know what is mom like now.

I met an American woman few days ago, she said she's proud of me playing the guitar, at the moment I wished that was my mom who said that to me.

I don't know what is grace now, I don't know what is love now, I only know what is bitterness in the family, there isn't more warm anymore.

The last outing I had with my family was 9 years back.

How more can I wish but a simple family gathering?

Dad is away, sister is busying, mom is not at her right state.

When I approached my mentors, all they said are Pray for your family, pray for yourself etc.

Then can I ask, do you really know how to comfort me besides asking me to pray? Do you know I'm sick of hearing the same solution from you? I guess they haven't been through this so they don't know any practical solutions.

A friend inspired me alot.

I won't name him.

I just got to know his background, he's at the same level as me (as in facing the same situation), yet he's so strong like a wood. I can learn from him perhaps.

God.

Guide me.

Thursday, February 9, 2012, 8:55 PM

Alot of things spinning in my mind.

No ranking with these thoughts...

1) CCA

2) Project group

3) Family

4) Friends

CCA has been great, alot of new people joining, that's great!

Project group is awesome, hope we can work better together and bond more!

Family sucks.

Friends....complicating.