I go home to realise that hamster isn't there anymore, I cannot adapt to its absence, I would still say hi to her but realised that she is dead already, sigh.

What touches me is that friends who drift apart for 7 years can get back together and not feeling awkward, the first thing is hugging her, in my heart I do miss her alot, my eyes were wet and I couldn't help but tear. We've been through the major conflict, its over, too many things have happened to the both of us that this conflict that happened a few years ago looks like a tiny matter, we both can only comfort each other now. I feel so touched when she comforted me, who's the one who is facing the bigger situation, I really salute for her attitude towards this, she has really grown alot la :)

The other thing is feeling something amiss, you feel the urge to get an answer yet you have no courage to ask, the feeling that you want to give up and move on, I am and I want to give up, I should do more meaningful things than _ _ _ _.

Ok nevermind, things happen for a reason, so why do I worry why do it happen, I just need to walk the talk and do what I should do.

Sighhhh! I have got this uneasy feeling these few days! I got nobody to talk to because ham is dead :(((

I seldom write on blog, I don't tweet these, shall not dwell, let me eat, super hungry, and my left arm is injured, shall stretch it later, tomorrow work and it's ending soon, happy, can't wait for pay, this month is a discipline month though.

Goodbye.

Whenever I go on twitter, I see sad tweets, I saw her tweet, blaming herself for not bringing her mum to the hospital when she knew about the symptoms, she said it's too late to blame herself, she said she doesn't blame God, the greatest present this year will be seeing her mother gone for good.

Very sad, life is indeed unpredictable, it can be cruel, but God is never so I believe PRAYER will help.

My eyes are teary as I write this post.

My friend here grew up from a single parent family, with her mum and now her mum has contracted cancer, it's really heart wrenching.

Getting nagged by our parents IS a blessing, it's a blessing because they are able to nag, they are there to watch over you and nag at you, so please treasure what you have now, your family members who are blood related to you, I don't care, whether they treated you good or bad, no matter what, we are being brought together, why not him why not her then why must it be your mum? It's all planned and it's a blessing.

And why am I here feeling sad is because she was my closest friend in primary school, we quarrelled in 2007, I remember having a SMS fight with her and her mom, now everything landed up this way, I feel very mixed.

PRAY!!!!!

I need your prayer, whether you know her or not, follow this prayer with me..

Dear God,

I pray for Huichuen's friend, that I might not know her, I still send my blessings to her family, God, please look after her family, I know they won't give up until the last breath, pour Your spirit and strength upon them through this tough period, be with them always, in Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

:(

I remember how we exchanged numbers. I remember the one incident when you chased after me on the subway because I refused to give you my number.

I remember how we opened up our lives to one another, we will text each other or talk to each other on phone for hours, you will text me random jokes and people and I will laugh along upon seeing your text messages.

I remember we will gather together and spend time during the free time, during the last day of camp, during after service and after cg.

I remember that no matter how down we are, we will still be able to rejoice together because of one another's support, we will continue life together.

I remember when casually we're bored, we will find things to do together.

And this is back to the year of 2010 but I still remember.

Since after our departure, I met many people and friends.

But, how on earth I just cannot forget these people?

To me, they are the first batch of true friends I have met.

To them, I am not sure, I just hope they share the same thoughts as me and I hope they will remember and miss me.

It's already a year, time is cruel and fast.

I cannot go on as a leader without them, I fail in alot of things I do.

People in my group come and go, one thing is lack of community and me myself isn't the role model. I don't know what's wrong with my temper nowadays, I everyday PMS, like it is though.

On the outside, I am headstrong and cool.

The truth is why I am able to perform now is because of them, their support and their love. Why I am able to lead is because of them, too.

Don't tell me it's God because it definitely IS.