I would like to say, this post has nothing to do with badmouthing or pinpointing anyone, moreover, I'm not pulling anyone down, This post is gonna be abit emo.

I miss:

Them,

I know things cannot be the same anymore but I'm such a lousy friend! I can't do anything but to stare at them having fun while I wear a smile on my face because I can feel the happiness in them as I was once like them!

I just made myself disappear because I know I can't do anything. The most fortunate thing is still being friend with them, although not that close anymore.

I will not forget that they were the motivation for me to go school, we would sat in a circle at 1212 and easily interact with one another, I would always chat and joke with Annabel, I would shout Liyi and do facial expression with her, I would crap continuously with Chiuyen...and I would lisiao Shermaine and always quarrel with her :)

Now that I'm always missing from school, it's no longer because I can't face them, it's that I have no motivation.

One thing is Chiuyen would go around the table helping us in assignments.

There's nothing has to do with Meijin and Huihui because we are friends, so I'm not trying to say them here..

Thanks Jasmine for always being here for me, be it whether I am in school or not, she will come to me and keep me accompany.

Thanks Meijin and Huihui for your entertainment, hmm and thanks Meijin for always giving me advices, you encouraged me you know.

"A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument. A real friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight." -Unknown

Sigh.

Such a emo post.

But I'm okay.

Truthfully it's gonna be a heart-wrenching time for me to make this decision.

1) I have formed this group personally.

2) We have been through alot of ups and downs together, we met up almost weekly to practice dance. It's the feelings we have here, I wonder if they will miss these moments but I do.

3) We even participated in competition together. GOD, I'm like crying out to GOD :( I remember they helped me put on make up, THEY WERE SO EXCITED, they were really WORKING HARD BEFORE THE COMPETITION ITSELF. If I give up on them, I am a loser.

Another thing, I have been searching for new members to the group, since they haven't join the group yet, if let's say the current group cannot sustain, I will reform a new group.

I have come to know these two girls from the studio I go to dance.

1) She goes to street jazz and lyrical hip hop classes, I just browsed through her facebook photos and see that she's a ballet dancer as well. She is keen :)

2) This girl I first got to know in lyrical hip hop class, she goes to kpop class as well to learn kpop mtv dance. I haven't asked her yet.

3) My classmate, Syazana- She has the potential and she clones the dance moves perfectly. She is keen too.

Sining advised me "You gotta really go through audition with them before recruiting them."

And it is also why I look out for the little details in the potential people here, they must have some boogie boogie in their life man.

Anyway, really thank God for Sining.

I think that's the earliest photo of me and her sitting together on the last day of camp, she sat beside me, through that time we weren't so close yet but really thank God that through dance we have gotten so close, I never regret. And she was like a tired sleeping only haha!

I guess I'm really a person who is gonna treasure the moments when I'm about to lose it, sigh.

At the end of the day, my heart cannot adapt too fast....:(

Sigh.

Dance is my life, family and friends are the light of my life :')

Without them, I'm not able to go this far till now.

On the other hand, talk about school.

I have really been missing in action from school this week. One thing is family, the other thing is the emotional part I gotta handle, I don't like it when I cry in class because of my mum then my classmates come worrying for me, I just gotta make them worry and that's it, why should I.

The other one is I have total no interest in this course, I don't even buy textbooks. I shouldn't have transferred course but I never regretted for knowing them in QM1101A :)

My parents don't even bother much of me going to school, my sister is the core of the family who will keep nagging at me, she will even threaten me and say if I miss a day of school next week, she will report to my aunt. I know she is doing it out of concern but I cannot take it when she overdo it, I am a grown up and I hope you see that I'm doing my part, even being missing from school, I don't spend money and I'm finding jobs too, it's a matter of luck, it's either they don't call me for interview or they called me but I couldn't meet their criteria in terms of the working hours, I still have to go school.

I don't want to be debarre, before being kick out from school or what, I hope I'm the one who will hand up the letter of dropping out from school so at least my record isn't that bad and I will be able to go for another intake in 2012.

I don't want this to happen, I am only blindly wasting my time.

I should just wake up my idea and commit to studies, even how much I have no interest or I don't understand. I'm like in a confusion now.

Due to family matters, I am very reluctant to say. I believe in independence, every family has their matters so why should I be grumbling about mine on twitter or facebook, I admit I do grumble on twitter but after that I will delete the tweets, my conscience just cannot take it.

Forget it.

Signing off.

Things may not go well but my heart is still yearning for a better day, nothing will stop me from living in enjoyment, enjoyment as in being cheerful and enthusiastic about life.

I do feel worthless at times where I can sit down and ponder what should I do next, or I do not even want to do anything but to stone down there.

Then something just struck me which is, why do I have to worry about tomorrow? I can plan and go with the flow, I realised I am living in a hectic life, I should settle down and rest.

This week is not a good week, be it family or friends or classmates. I guess being alone in school is not a great thing, I have no other ways but to miss school so my friend have to be alone, she told me she is sticking with her three other friends, I guess I don't want to be a badass here, I should not bother her and I should let her to have freedom in her choice of friends like now, if I go school, she will come to me and accompany me which I feel I will affect her, I just want her to settle down in a group permanently. Once I told her I'm having family problems, she didn't respond to my apology, on the other note, I can't expect her to understand my situation, so it's okay.

It was dad's birthday yesterday, the priceless moment of him cutting the birthday cake, looking from afar I saw the joy on his face, I hope the moment could last and I wish that the storm will be over soon.

Shall not write anymore.

Bye.

Here I'm back to blogger, with a big smile!

I miss blogging so much and friends around me still use blogger, so I decided to blog again!

I have wordpress and tumblr too!

Well, you can browse through the archives of my blog to see how much I have grown! Hehe.

Anyway,

THIS BLOG IS DEAD, NO TAGS AND LINKS, ONLY SONGS :)

HAHA.

SHALL SHARE MY SCHEDULE THIS WEEK.

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SHUPING BUDDY AND CHIUYEN!

Sunday: Met up Sining and off to town and bugis, looked for stuffs and also birthday gifts, well, she treated me to Shokudo, thanks! She said she wanted to make up for my sister who treated her before. I feel so blessed, cos' I didn't treat her but my sister, lol. By the way, we visited my own workplace, saw the Wee sisters there! They are so generous, because I didn't ask for a set meal then they treated me a drink, well it's a drink but it's the heart that counts!

Monday: Went school and class ended, went to Toa Payoh to find Jingmei, then off we went to Sentosa to watch songs of the sea, I got the free VIP entry, showing off, cos' she is the staff there! She brought me into the control and spotlight room, it is like so cool to the max. The live fireworks and the show, especially when the tourists and audiences cheered loudly, I was like cheering also, LOL. Sucha long day!

Tuesday: Such a interesting day in school! Long story! HAHA! After that Sining and her brother's girlfriend came to my school for videoshoot, we spent over 3 hours and she NG over 10 times, haha she just kept blaming herself, you see, it's not that we mind, it's that I was so drained so I rested at one area!

Wednesday: Finally went for lifeskills! Met up Meijin at bus 160 then off to class! It was so boring, lifeless, the lifeskill teacher just shouted across the room cos I didn't wear uniform so I ignored then he said he was joking, yes he's a joke, then I just YAWNED loudly infront of him then he said I was rude, so I rebelled, who was the rude one in the first place? Nabei. He is a relief teacher, then the other female relief teacher took over, wow she damn style! And she has all the basic courtesy, I want her to be our teacher can! She let us watch a movie about hiphop dance, shiok, although it's abit draggy but at least she got a life! The uncle teacher only taught us that we evolved from animals and save the environment, blah blah, didn't use proper English also.

Thursday: School as usual, I went in late hahaha then Jasmine accompanied me to eat, so sweet of her :) Then after school took train home with Meijin, Huihui and Hilda, but most of the time was with Meijin, she told me alot of things that I can learn from her. After all, I didn't regret going to school for only 2 hours. Anyway, I went home straight after school, weird and shiok!

Friday: Which is today, going to meet Dionne and Sining at Scape, woohoo!

Saturday: Meeting buddy tomorrow, the actual resumes again! We are ok already, people don't worry for us :)

Sunday: Plan for the new week, plan for the dance group, etc.

HECTIC AS USUAL!

SHALL GO OFF SOON,

BLOG YA.

Huichuen.