Monday, January 12, 2009, 9:17 PM


God wants my mum to know the truth that I've not been working lately, I actually didn't tell her that I did not work the last time. I actually lied to her and I literally sent wrong message to her. I actually wanted to message Jingmei regarding this but my mum saw the message. You see, this is karma. Not really karma but the consequences of lying to her, I guess she is angry with me now. Lying for the sake of ministry, I don't know if it is very wrong but I think what I'm doing now is worthwhile. I sometimes feel I'm wasting time on this, perhaps I feel really discouraged now.

I'm facing financial crisis now, I really want to clear off my debts. Adding on that I haven't been working lately for two weeks. Daily allowance isn't enough to supply me for two meals, moreover it can only last me for a meal. I feel extra guilty to get money from my parents, I face persecution from my sister that she thinks I should be working now instead of doing ministry. I felt so bothered just now. From now onwards, I rather be starved than letting others to bless me or even lend me money. It feels like you are being pressurized with burden. I don't know how to relate with everyone in my family about this and how do they know what am I facing. God knows.


Went back to school to support Shannon and Siyu. Both of them scored really well for their O's, congrats! Saw my former teachers and chatted with them, especially my former principal and vice-principal. A big thank to them for advising me of where should I go and so on, now then I feel that even I'm no longer in the school, they still care for me and I am so touched by them.


Bye,
I will pray hard.